A Hope for the Future

Let me tell you a little something about my life....

It seems in this world of "dream-jobs" and life-long careers, I haven't ever really fit in. There's not a job I can think of that would completely cover every passion that I have. Wolves and zoos and Jesus and rock climbing and reading? Hmm... It seems like I'm quite spread across the map.

And that's frustrating. Especially graduating college not going into the field you studied for the last four years of your life.

I went into college wanting to be a veterinarian. I always loved animals, and thought biology was interesting, hey, I was smart, I could do it, right? Sure. So I went to Baylor to get a Biology degree in the hopes of applying to A&M for vet school. It was going to be brutal, lots of hours in the library, and lots of work to check off all my requirements (something like 100 hours of shadowing). By year two of college in the suckiest Bio 2 class you could conceive of, I decided I wasn't made for this. I didn't love it. I fainted when I watched surgeries (there was one really embarrassing moment at an open house). And I just didn't have time for college.

So I moved on. I loved animals, so I switched majors to Environmental Science (add a little tree-hugging, and I was set). That summer I worked at the Houston Zoo. It was awesome. I loved that I got to go to the zoo for free every day. It was incredible! We worked with conservation projects (my fave, but for real) throughout Houston all summer. It was really cool to see how to rebuild and restore lost habitat, and help the survival of the ecosystem and certain endangered species. It was probably one of my favorite experiences I have had. But there was something missing.

It's so cliche, but all summer I felt like I was missing Jesus. The conversations in the secular world were just not that interesting to me. I didn't connect with the other interns. I just didn't look at life the same way as them. I wasn't strong enough to hide my faith, or even my innocence from them. I felt like an outsider, like I would never connect, and I knew there was something I was missing.

Right after that internship, I went with my high school youth group (as a leader) to RYM. It was wonderful. Seeing the budding relationships these kids had with God was indescribable. The way they connected with me and loved me so easily was refreshing. I felt at home. Like I had found a place. That next summer, my youth pastor suggested I apply for a youth internship with his friend in STL. I had no plans for the summer, so I though, why not?

My life had honestly never been the same since then. The internship went so well, and I was able to grow so much in my personal life, in my relationship with Christ, and my direction in life. It seemed like STL was calling.

Last night, I spoke for the first time in front of a group of students who I've gotten to know over two summers. Students who I've seen struggle, and rejoice, students who have lost their leaders to other jobs, and students who have had countless struggles with peers and family. Students who I've rejoiced to be with in the mountains in North Carolina, and sat with over millions of gallons of ice cream (or other sweet things). Students who I love dearly. And they all looked up intently at me, ready to listen to what I had to say.

Me? Really? They wanted to listen to me? Earlier that day I was reminded of the passage in the Bible where Moses pleads with God to not make him speak, because he was afraid. I felt exactly like Moses did, just with less responsibility. But you know what God did?

He spoke through me. I know that because the words I said were not special. They something these kids know. But I got such a positive response that I can only believe thatGod was working through me last night.

I'm so thankful for that, and I'm so thankful for the encouragement I received. One co-leader told me I was a natural teacher. Wow. I never thought I would hear that. I never expected that. But God, through all the struggle and frustration of me trying to find my own calling, had already made a niche for me. He gave me the opportunity to speak in front of people I really cared about about something I dearly love. I feel so blessed to be just beginning to see the place that God has made for me in His Kingdom. And I know it's only through Him that I am even able to desire to be a part of it.

I say all this, not because I want you to know how great my life is now that I'm in STL. Heck no, there are still struggles and tribulations abounding. I say this as an encouragement. As someone who hasn't known what she's wanted to do with her life all her life. I say this to tell you that you really are safe in His arms. That He REALLY does have a plan, and it's nothing like you expect.




"For I know the plans I have for you, declares The Lord, plans for you to prosper and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares The Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile." JEREMIAH 29:11-14

The Joy and The Pain

My senior year is ending in no way I would have ever expected. I feel lost, and I know that I have lost. I’ve lost relationships, I’ve lost hope, I’ve lost purpose. I’ve been caught up in what life does for me, and I’ve been trying, striving, wishing, praying, for life to work for me. And yet, those endless tears and cries to the Lord haven’t brought me anything but disappointment.

I’ve felt abandoned. Left in the dust. Loneliness. Loneliness that crushes me. I don’t feel worth the love. And I pray endlessly for the pain to stop. For someone to show me out of this cycle of disappointment, despair and hurt. But my prayers for healing haven’t been answered.

However…God has something else in store.

You know what I think God’s teaching me?

I think He’s teaching me that He’s enough. Not only that He’s everything, but that He’s enough. He’s it for me. He’s my all. He gives me all, and His sacrifice defines me. And that’s all I need. His love, His approval, His redemption and sacrifice.

This year, through the joy and through the pain, there’s been something missing. Through every struggle to work with people, to make good grades, to be a good minister in RUF, to be a good Christian, to be a good friend, there’s been something missing.

I’ve tried so hard. I’ve given my heart and soul into people and places and ministries that I absolutely love. And what has it gotten me? Not much. I wouldn’t have expected that my senior year would be ending like this. So…discontent. But I think it’s a lesson.

I think it’s Him showing me that no matter what I do, no matter who I’m with, no matter how hard I try, He’s all I’ll ever have. I can be the best friend, the best counselor, the best minister I can be, but it’s nothing without His sacrifice for me. It’s nothing without His love for me. He covers me. He’s my everything, without Him I am nothing.

He is my strength, my peace, my joy, my hope, my life, my love. In times of darkness, in times of humility, and in pain and frustration. I don’t always act like it, and I sure as hell won’t always remember it, but everything I am is His. 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. ---Colossians 3:17

What's So Special About Today?

This morning at church was special. We were dressed in spring clothes and beaming from ear to ear. We greeted strangers, and sang together. We heard the gospel. We learned, and renewed our hearts at the teaching of the word. So what was different about today?

There were a few more attendees than normal. Actually, a noticeable amount of new faces. The responses were louder, the music, more full. And the chapel? Crowded. But why? What about this day made more people show up at church?

Why is my newsfeed filled with the message of the gospel, just today? What is it that made today different than other Sundays? What does it really mean, "He is risen"?

We already know the end of the story, we already know that we have been redeemed, that He is risen. We hear the gospel every week in church, so what is there to celebrate? Each year, we celebrate on a different Sunday, but why? What's so special about Easter?

Easter is unique, not because we're surprised at what happened at the tomb. Easter is special BECAUSE we celebrate. We ALL celebrate. The Church celebrates His resurrection together. We're unified by the celebration of the resurrection.

It's not so much that we didn't know that He rose. We wouldn't be saved if Christ didn't defeat death. But we're amazed. We rejoice. We celebrate the joy in the resurrection together. And I think that's what's special about Easter Sunday. The Church is unified, by this one life-altering event. That He has DEFEATED death, FOR us, so that WE might be saved.



Christ is risen from the DEAD, trampling over death by death. Come AWAKE, Come AWAKE, Come and rise up from the GRAVE. 

Learning to Find Beauty

Recently I've been realizing how out of balance my life is. How pushed I am toward one extreme, which causes me to strive more than I can handle.

One clear example is school-work, efficiency, and grades. Ever since this semester started it feels like I have to be extremely efficient to get the best use of my time studying so I can graduate with the GPA I want. I'm in a few easier classes, physics (not easy...) and writing my thesis. Every second of my day is devoted to ensuring that I get all the things done that I need to do.

I'm lacking sleep, time, energy and a full grasp on what life is really about. I've been trying to get that grade. Or finish that paper. Or understand those concepts so I can take that test. I feel like there is CONSTANTLY something I HAVE to be doing. Not something I 'need' to be doing, it's essential for my life to be meaningful, for me to be able to graduate, for me to live well.

But guess what? That's NOT where life is found. It's not about doing everything so you can be seen as the perfect student, or put another activity on your resume. And neither is it about giving up and just scraping by (or not scraping by), and  getting Cs in all my classes my last semester. It's not about giving up, but it's also NOT about stressing out.

Finding that balance is not easy. Learning when to say no to a responsibility is a difficult thing for me. I expect myself to be perfect, and live up to all the standards that I believe people have made me. I want to prove to them that I can handle this semester. That I can make it through college as a science major. That I am SMART enough, STRONG enough, EFFICIENT enough to handle every responsibility on my own.

Life is found in the balance. In sleeping in and skipping class. In taking your break between classes to hammock, or read, or just sit on campus and people watch. It's about spending time doing schoolwork, but not all your time doing schoolwork. Prioritizing your life over all the things pulling you in every direction is what's important.

There is beauty in learning. There is joy in discovering new things and understanding new concepts. It is a privilege to be able to go to school simply to learn. It's easy to get lost in the extremes. Of being the one stuck in the library every day and night, or only showing up for class on test days. It's easy to say one is the better thing to do. But realizing that life is found BETWEEN those two extremes is what's authentic.

I'm finding beauty in physics. In geology. In writing a management plan for gray wolves. Because I'm no longer taking it too seriously, or putting all the pressure on myself to be enough to achieve all the things on my to do list. I'm also finding beauty in prioritizing sleep, running more than I study, and reading for FUN instead of for work.


The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the Word of the Lord remains forever --Isaiah 40:8

The Downfall of the Overachiever

At the beginning of the year I had every resolution in the book: work out, read the bible, take charge of my life, be organized, be honest, be better, healthier, full of life. And while I'm still accomplishing and growing in all of these areas, I've realized something very essential to resolutions, and life ambitions, lately.

I got caught up in the end-goal. The half-marathon that I would race. The body that I would have. The faith that I would have. The life that I would make for MYSELF. But there was an ESSENTIAL element missing.

I'm not a runner. I hate running, actually. I'm a sprinter, because I used to be a gymnast, so long, sustained, endurance activities are not my thing. Especially running. But one of the things on my bucket list is a marathon, so what's a more perfect step to getting there than doing the half marathon at Baylor? Running the Bearathon is a beautiful thing, not only the race, but what it supports. I'm thankful to be able to participate and support incoming Baylor students!

As I began to train, a friend of mine found us a 'training schedule' for working up to the half. We looked at it and were overwhelmed. They want me to run how much a week? Hmm...Don't know if I can do that. But with my new, can-do attitude, I decided to give my ALL. Literally, y'all. My ALL.

Even in the blistering Waco wind, even during the coldest winter in my life, I was going to run. For myself! Because I was empowered, I was able, I am successful. I ran 6 miles in the snow (well freezing rain), and if I could do that, so quickly into our program, I could run the half at 9 minutes a mile! (A really hard goal for someone just learning to run long-distance). I could do ANYTHING. Because I was healthy. I was fit. I was becoming a runner.

Until the all too quick down-fall. Four to five weeks into our training, I realized I was wheezing when I was breathing, my upper back problems had come back and it hurt to breathe and carry around my backpack. I suspected exercise-induced asthma. Either way, I wasn't going to quit. I went for a run the next day, even wheezing, in pain, and without breath.

It wasn't even me who realized I needed to stop. It was my training buddy, and dear friend who YELLED at me. YOU CAN'T RUN IF YOU CAN'T BREATH! Oh. Right, probably not...

But I was SO caught up in accomplishing, in doing something once for MYSELF that I forgot to take care of my body. To take care of the temple of the Lord. I forgot my Savior. I forgot that it was only by His strength that I was able. That I was fit. That I was healthy.

My health, my wellness, my ability to be active, to breathe, to train is all Christ's. I am not my own but His. It is a beautiful thing that I will be finishing the Bearathon this year, but it is MORE of a beautiful thing because Christ has ENABLED me! It is only through Him that I have life and breath and salvation. Relying on Him is the only thing that will always be stable, that will help me be healthy, and 'take charge' of my life. He is my rock and my refuge.

Learning to treat my body like a temple is more than finding the IDEAL. It's more than the end-goal. It's about the balanced process. It's about learning when to take a break. Learning where the balance between over-doing it and laziness is. It's about eating healthy, but having dessert every once in a while. Finding the balance between under- and over-indulgence is where we find life. That's where living takes place. Rejoicing in the good, and not OVERdoing it.

Take a break today for me, and REST. Really, truly rest. And pray, thanking the Father for all He's given you in this life. Because He's given you everything. How beautiful is that?



Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. --1 Corinthians 6:19-20

The Definition of Overcommitted

I'm weary, drained, exhausted, and empty. It's about a month into the semester and I've had most of my first tests, school-work is picking up, and it seems like everyone wants my time and energy. I'm involved in church ministry, college ministry, a new network marketing job, and I'm taking 18 hours. EIGHTEEN HOURS. Y'all. I'm a senior, I don't have energy for this.

And it seems like all of my professors want me to devote ALL my time and energy into their class. Well. I have five classes, I can't have 5 times the amount of time, unfortunately. But if you could figure out a way to multiply my time (like Hermione and her time-turner), I'd be incredibly grateful. Not only am I in Physics (dear Lord, help me), but I'm in two upper level environmental science credits, and Capstone (research paper writing) and I'm finishing up my thesis. I don't have time.

I'm the definition of over-committed. Baylor's the definition of over-committed, but I've realized it in my personal life more so than just my Baylor life. It's not possible for me to be a full time student and to be involved in 5 extra-curricular activities. There's only 24 hours in the day, and currently I'm using up about 18 for school work and only 6 for sleep/eating. Prioritizing seems to be biased toward schoolwork, and I am incapable of committing the rest of my time to ministry/jobs/friends/etc.

So what made me participate in them in the beginning? What drove me to seek to be involved in EVERYTHING?

If I'm completely honest, I believe that it will give me meaning. If I'm involved in all these things, it must mean I'm important. That I'm needed. That I'm valued and significant to people. If my schedule is filled it must mean that people NEED me. Because I have things to do, and people to meet, I'm important.

My schedule determines my importance. If I'm always busy and always running around, I can say I mean something to someone/something. I'm striving for meaning. I'm trying to make myself important out of what I DO, not out of what I AM.

And what I am is LOVED. Redeemed. Rescued. Forgiven. I do not need to try so hard because I already am important to God. And because I'm important to Him, I can find meaning in seeking Him above the things of this world. In seeking Him through my school-work, in seeking Him through ministry, and in seeking Him in my daily life. I don't need to DO to be saved. Because I am.

This doesn't neglect the need to be involved in His work in this world. Christ calls us to be followers. To go into the world and extend His kingdom. But extend His kingdom with Him in mind, not on our own importance and meaning. Because He is what is important above all things of this world.




The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...He restores my soul, He leads me in paths of righteousness, for HIS name's sake --Psalm 23:1,3

Overwhelming Peace

About three weeks ago I was up in St Louis for my interview for the Masters in Counseling at Covenant Seminary, and I never wrote about it. But after a while of reflection I've realized that I am VERY at peace with it, and that's ONLY by God's endless grace.

I had two interviews, one with a counseling professor and one with admissions. My admissions one got rescheduled to after the counseling professor, which was quite a HUGE blessing. The interview began at 2pm...so I spent the whole morning worrying, over-thinking and stressing-out about it. Thankfully, I was staying with a friend, and one of her roommates told me not to worry about it because it didn't matter how bad or how good my interviews went or how well I did, because it was up to God anyway, wasn't it? How RELIEVING! Praise the Lord that His will is His will and His plan is His, not mine!

At 1:45, I walked over to the Counseling Department. I read, and re-read the email that I had received which told me to meet the professor in his office. Well...that was awkward because no one was there. Yeah, it was Jan-term, and their schedules were all over the place, but I didn't know where I was expected to me! I got a little stressed out. Sat down and tried to calm down. Someone walked into his office and I followed...until he walked back out and almost ran into me (way to go, awkward-JoAnn). So. There was that.

A few minutes later, he came out as I was sitting in the lobby and asked me if I was JoAnn. Yes! Finally! I was in the right place! Haha. Our interview lasted 20 minutes... Yeah, 20 minutes. It was awkward...I expected a long and grueling conversation about my past or something. But it was mostly my family, my over-all life experience (which is pretty sheltered) and why I applied to the MAC instead of the RUF Intern program (it's a little late for that now...).

I left shattered. Confused. Conflicted. And over-all irritated. It sounded to me like he had already made the decision before I walked into his office that I was too young to be a counselor, that my life was too easy, that I needed more "experience." And now I had an hour and a half to think before my next interview. Ugh.

After talking to the friend I was staying with and DECIDING not to think about it anymore, I walked over for my next interview. This one was SO good! The admissions counselor was a counselor herself who had been through the program and legitimately wanted to get to know me. To understand WHY in the world I would want to be in St Louis again, to get why this summer meant the WORLD to me, and to see my heart for the Lord's work in other's lives. It was amazing. And refreshing to share with someone my heart for the city that changed my path in life. Walking away from that interview, I felt renewed, purposeful and at peace.

Since then, save the few moments of weakness, I've felt at PEACE. Overwhelming and overcoming peace. And that's not ME. That's the Lord. I promise you. If being at peace was up to me, I'd be a wreck. I know because that's what last semester was like. So now I have two months to rest in the Word. To believe in His promise to lead me in this life, and to trust that I was made for this. How sweet is that? To truly believe that He has carved out this path for me and walk with Him not worrying about the next step? It's truly beautiful.



Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he might exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you --1 Peter 5:6-7

What About Veggies?

It's day 30 of my 30 day challenge, and I'm feeling amazing, but grateful to be able to eat some of the foods I cut out like peanut butter, bread and frozen yogurt :).

Recently, I started my own network marketing business. The business I began provides exceptional nutritional supplements, and other business owners have started this program called "30 day detox." What drew me to the 30 day detox was my diet. I basically only ate dairy and carbohydrates. I wasn't fully balanced or open to trying new things. I knew I needed a change, and needed to stop hating salads. 

The detox cut out all my favorite foods, bread (gluten free), milk (dairy free), peanut butter (only almond butter: which is AWESOME), coffee, alcohol, soda, noodles, rice, etc. The list is long. It's easier to tell you what I could eat! Brown rice, and brown rice products, almond EVERYTHING, especially almond milk, lots of leafy greens, low GI fruits and protein, so eggs, chicken, fish, beef were on the table. Oh. And it was sugar free. Kill me now, haha. 

When I first started and read the list, I saw a few things I could like, and thought, what's 30 days? A lot longer than you think, haha. The first day, my mom and I went shopping. I was endlessly searching for the ok carbs, bought brown rice bread, brown rice cakes, brown rice, brown rice noodles, and tried to buy a few other things. When I got home and looked at the chart I was provided for learning how to portion meals, I was shocked, and appalled. I have to have a half plate of veggies?!?!!? How? What? Why?

So I started freaking out about veggies. (Idol right there). I didn't know how to include them in my lunches if I couldn't add cheese or butter, and I hated salad, so there was no way. 

I'm pretty sure I started supplementing my lunches with shakes right then and there, to make it easier on myself. I'm kind-of a cheater when it comes to food I don't like. But what sucked was I hadn't received my chocolate powder yet, so I was stuck with vanilla, and desperate for something to taste good! Thankfully I was surrounded by a community participating in the same process, and they had billions of shake recipes! I added mint extract and spinach to my vanilla shakes and it tasted like a Shamrock Shake! Delicious!

When my mom was serving me dinner, she would make sure to include veggies on my plate, cooked, of course. And she cooked them really well, and they tasted AMAZING! I stole the recipe and have been using it ever since to get my intake of leafy greens.

However, I wasn't perfect. The past two weekends were hard with traveling and youth group retreat. I was left with few choices when we went out to eat...so I chose a salad. And ate it! What? Who am I? And then last weekend I ordered a salad from Chick-fil-a and LOVED it! WHAT? Seriously? Me? Salad. Love? 

This detox was probably the hardest 30 days I've had in a while. Expanding my palette is hard. Learning to eat new foods in different ways is hard. And keeping track of how much you're eating and when you're eating and making sure to drink enough water is hard for a college student with a crazy schedule! But it has been such a good learning experience. I've learned how much I over-value food. How much my mood is changed if I don't get any, or the kind I like. I've learned that I idolize food. I idolize what kinds of food I eat, when I eat, what I eat, and it's been eye-opening. It's been good to rely on God for sustenance. Fully and truly.

This past 30 days has help me realize a lot of things and be aware of what I'm putting in my body. I'm planning on doing this again after spring break so if you're interested in my experience please talk to me about it! I'd love to hear you're thoughts, even if you think I'm a crazy dieting freak! 

On Counseling :)

I've been thinking a lot about why I want to be a counselor, and it's humbling what I've realized. I've realized I'm not good enough. I'll never be good enough. I'll never be able to love people enough or give them good advice because I'm not Christ. I'm not the Son of man sent down to seek and serve the lost. I'm not their Savior, their Redeemer, their Maker, their All. I'm just not. 

But I am His follower. And He does want me to chase after them, not because of anything I'll gain, but because of HOW much He loves THEM. Being a follower of Christ means more than reading your Bible everyday and going to Church. Being a follower of Christ means seeking Him in your daily life. It means trusting in Him for your salvation and not yourself. It means looking to Him when things are hard and not turning to something else that might seem easier. It means praying. A LOT. It means giving the glory to God. 

It's not about me. It was never about me. I'm merely a tool in His hands to save His people. I'm His servant, His worker. Someone so dearly loved that He wants me to help Him love His people. It's about being a helper, not being the answer. It's showing them the answer! Christ! How beautiful is that? He wants me to help Him save them? How incredible!?! 

Do you realize that Christ did more one on ones than sermons or lessons? Christ was a counselor! Of course! He's about the individual who is dearly beloved. He wants to redeem REAL people. His people matter to Him, not only as a collective but personally, individually. He's chasing after the hearts of people, just like I want to do. 

I want to be a counselor because I feel that God has equipped me to love His people. I believe it is the way I've been equipped to extend the supremacy. 

And THAT is such a BEAUTIFUL thing.

One Weekend in STL, Thousands of Prayers Answered

This is long overdue but..

This weekend I will finally be returning to St Louis, for the first time since August. The second week of December I received a call from the Seminary telling me that they wanted to interview ME! You wouldn't believe how joyful I was. There was no wiping that smile of my face for days. There are no words to describe just HOW excited I was. I was elated. Ecstatic. Jubilant. Delighted. My prayers were answered!

I'm excited. I'm nervous. But I think I'm ready. So much has changed since I was up there last and it will be good to spend time with close friends over the weekend. If you're reading this and you're in STL, yes, I'm coming to see YOU! And I CAN'T wait!!!

Most of you know how stressed out I was about this never happening, a lot of you heard me complain and worry about why they weren't getting back to me. And of course at the end of it all, all of that was worth it. So worth it. I'm so thankful, encouraged and excited to be following the path that Christ has set out for my life. It's only through Him that I want to go to Seminary, and it's only through Him that I will be accepted!

For those of you who've been praying for me, THANK YOU. It is unbelievably appreciated. I love y'all and I'm so grateful to have friends like you praying for my future.




For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. --Jeremiah 29:11

What If There's More To Life Than Marriage?

That’s bold, right? And scary! But I think it’s true, and I think ALL of us, young or old, engaged, single, newlyweds or recently divorced need to hear this.

That we’ve made marriage an idol in our culture, and that is not the place where it was meant to be! We can’t put it on a pedestal and expect all our problems to be solved once we get married. Cause guess what? Life goes on. And sometimes (a lot of the time) life can suck. And it’ll still suck when you’re married.

This is not a rant about how I’m still single and WOE is me for having no one to love me yet. Neither is it a post about how life is lived more when you’re single and unattached. It’s simply a serious question as to WHY WE CARE SO MUCH.

Even for myself! Why does it feel, like my mom said recently, that engagement is like a disease that keeps catching everyone at my college? And why does it feel like I’m worth so much less because I’m single? And it isn’t simply because I tell myself that, I mean, I probably do, but that’s not the only cause. I honestly think our culture is telling us that.

In the secular world and the Christian world, in pintrest, and romantic movies, and all realms of social media, and especially the Church, it isn’t cool to not be married. And that is SO FALSE.

I’m not married. I’m 21, I never expected to be married by 21, but for those people I know who are younger than me or within a year of me and engaged, I seriously am happy for you. I’m so glad you found your soul-mate and your best friend to spend life with. I can’t wait to hear about the adventures and the journey through life that you have together. It is a BLESSING that you have found each other.

But as for me? I’m going to live life to the fullest, figure out who I am, get to know and love people deeper and get involved in the lives of those around me. Because that’s what I love. I love people, and I love listening to them and being there for them and simply going on walks to rejoice in the good Creation all around us. I couldn’t do those things if I was married. I wouldn’t be up so late, or have so much free time to get to know people if I had that gift. So I’m glad that this is my gift! I’m JOYFUL that I get to be single for another year and figure out what God’s calling me to. I’m excited for new friendships and new goals that I couldn’t make if I was married.

I’m not against marriage. I am so excited for the day when I finally can spend the rest of my life with my best friend, but I’m against our culture. I’m against how we act superior about it. ALL OF US. Single or married, we somehow have come to think that we’re entitled. But that’s not the truth. The truth is that it’s a gift. It’s not something to search for or for you to find on your own. It’s something that Christ will give us in His time because He loves us and it is not good for us to be alone. And it’s really ok if you’re time is 5 years from now, or 6 months from now. It’s ok if someone close to you is getting married and you’re still single. And it’s ok to be grateful for that.

I am so thankful that I have grown so much in the past year, and I cannot wait to see where Christ takes me in the next, with or without a man in my life. I can’t wait for the unveiling, the PROMISE, the beauty.

He has made everything beautiful in it's time... I perceive there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live --Ecclesiastes 3:11-12

What does 2014 mean to You?

What does the New Year mean to you? Does it mean dieting, working out, loosing weight and becoming a skinnier you? Does it mean praying more, trusting God more and being a "better" Christian? Or does it mean taking every chance you have at this life to live it to the fullest?

The New Year this year for me has a lot of meaning. I'm graduating in less than 5 months, interviewing at the Seminary in less that 3 weeks, and I've made it into qualification for District Manager with Arbonne! Life is happening for me, and fast!! I can't believe how quickly things have turned around since May last year, or even the beginning of the school year. My life has changed, and my goals have changed. That's why 2014 is so significant to me.

I feel renewed today. I feel different, inspired, encouraged and enthusiastic, for the first time in a long time. 2014 to me means college graduation, growing up, moving on, taking chances, looking forward, and living life to the FULLEST.

I can't wait for what this year will bring because I completely believe that God has a perfect plan for me. I believe that He will help Baylor RUF through this semester. I believe He (and only He) will help me get into seminary. And I believe that He has prepared the way towards May 17, 2014, and onward. I believe there is life waiting.

It's hard. It's rough, and I'll go through a lot in this year. Cause no one ever said seminary (or helping run a ministry) was easy, but I can't wait for it. Because if it's for His Kingdom, it HAS to be good. If we're fighting for and with the King of all creation, isn't that incredible? Even if it's hard, even if it sucks, even if it's hopeless, it's good. Because He's the King.

"Safe? Who said anything about safe? Course He isn't safe. But He's good. He's the King, I tell you."
--The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe

So I will find joy in sorrow. Light in darkness. Hope when it seems hopeless. Because Christ HAS come, and HAS redeemed us and IS fighting for us. And nothing could be better than fighting for his Kingdom.





And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ
Philippians 4:7