That’s bold, right? And scary! But I
think it’s true, and I think ALL of us, young or old, engaged, single, newlyweds or recently divorced need to hear this.
That we’ve made marriage an idol in
our culture, and that is not the place where it was meant to be! We can’t put
it on a pedestal and expect all our problems to be solved once we get married.
Cause guess what? Life goes on. And sometimes (a lot of the time) life can
suck. And it’ll still suck when you’re married.
This is not a rant about how I’m still
single and WOE is me for having no one to love me yet. Neither is it a post
about how life is lived more when you’re single and unattached. It’s simply a
serious question as to WHY WE CARE SO MUCH.
Even for myself! Why does it feel,
like my mom said recently, that engagement is like a disease that keeps
catching everyone at my college? And why does it feel like I’m worth so much
less because I’m single? And it isn’t simply because I tell myself that, I
mean, I probably do, but that’s not the only cause. I honestly think our
culture is telling us that.
In the secular world and the Christian
world, in pintrest, and romantic movies, and all realms of social media, and
especially the Church, it isn’t cool to not be married. And that is SO FALSE.
I’m not married. I’m 21, I never
expected to be married by 21, but for those people I know who are younger than
me or within a year of me and engaged, I seriously am happy for you. I’m so
glad you found your soul-mate and your best friend to spend life with. I can’t
wait to hear about the adventures and the journey through life that you have
together. It is a BLESSING that you have found each other.
But as for me? I’m going to live life
to the fullest, figure out who I am, get to know and love people deeper and get
involved in the lives of those around me. Because that’s what I love. I love
people, and I love listening to them and being there for them and simply going
on walks to rejoice in the good Creation all around us. I couldn’t do those
things if I was married. I wouldn’t be up so late, or have so much free time to
get to know people if I had that gift. So I’m glad that this is my gift! I’m
JOYFUL that I get to be single for another year and figure out what God’s
calling me to. I’m excited for new friendships and new goals that I couldn’t
make if I was married.
I’m not against marriage. I am so
excited for the day when I finally can spend the rest of my life with my best
friend, but I’m against our culture. I’m against how we act superior about it.
ALL OF US. Single or married, we somehow have come to think that we’re
entitled. But that’s not the truth. The truth is that it’s a gift. It’s not
something to search for or for you to find on your own. It’s something that
Christ will give us in His time because He loves us and it is not good for us
to be alone. And it’s really ok if you’re time is 5 years from now, or 6 months
from now. It’s ok if someone close to you is getting married and you’re still single.
And it’s ok to be grateful for that.
I am so thankful that I have grown so
much in the past year, and I cannot wait to see where Christ takes me in the
next, with or without a man in my life. I can’t wait for the unveiling, the
PROMISE, the beauty.
He has made everything beautiful in it's time... I perceive there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live --Ecclesiastes 3:11-12
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