To All the Single 20-something’s:

Relationships are scary. I’ll give you that. But if you aren’t willing to enter into them, you’ll never quench your desire for covenantal love. Yes, Christ is enough. Christ will always be enough, but He also made us for relationship. And I think that’s why it’s so hard for us to be single. Yeah, friends are great, they’re loyal, they’re comforting, they’re supportive, but they’re not quite all we want. We want a best friend. Someone to live life with. To rejoice with. To cry with, and sometimes simply to eat with.

In this culture of too much technology, I think it’s easy to let relationships not mean as much. And that’s not fair. That’s not what we’re made for. So if anything, get off your phone. Talk to someone. Really talk to them. See their hurt and see their joy and rejoice in that beautiful humanity.

To the guys out there: Ask her out. Whoever she is, whether you see her as a friend, or “sister,” or someone who might be your future wife, you should just ask. Yes, rejection is scary. I know. I’ve faced it countless times before. But if we don’t try we’ll never experience that joy in relationship that God has made us for. So don’t fear. Because God made you for this and He will be with you through it. If it’s meant to be, it will be. If it doesn’t work out, you have a Savior who died to make you righteous.

And to all the girls: Say yes. I don’t care if you see him as a friend. I don’t care if he’s unattractive. If you find him interesting, and fun to talk to and you have good conversations with him, go out with him. What’s it going to hurt? But be honest. Be honest with yourself and be honest with him. If you don’t think its going to go anywhere for any particular reason, the worst thing you can do is lead him on. So don’t. I don’t care how much you desire attention or affection, Christ can give you that. Through his pure love and through your close female relationships. And if you don’t have that with girlfriends, maybe you should try opening up to them. Don’t bring a guy into your mess if you aren’t willing to stay with him.

We all desire relationship. We all want that someone. So stop being afraid and try. Besides, isn’t that what Christ wants for us? He is three in one, obviously He is a relational God. And He made us in His image, so obviously we are relational people. So don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Let yourself be hurt, let yourself be rejected, let yourself be open to new friends and new experiences and new relationships. Because what are we really hiding from? Other people? Or ourselves? Because if we try to protect ourselves from love, we’ll only be more lonely in the end.

So. Go ask her out. Say yes. Have fun. Live. Love. Trust in God. And be honest.

“There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell. “ –C.S. Lewis The Four Loves