People Will Be People. But God Is God.

Relationships are hard. They are something that's God-given, but drenched in our world of sin and brokenness. That's why it makes it hard to pursue people. We fear rejection, abandonment, and most of all the feeling of being an outcast. So we think if we stick to ourselves, we can't get hurt, right? Wrong. Oh, so very wrong.
I honestly think we're more prone to loneliness and pain and suffering if we do stick to ourselves. That means that the devil can get to us and convince us that we're not good enough, or funny enough or worthy enough, or simply enough. But that's not fair. The God of the universe gave his life for us. His life. Do you get that? I sure don't.

That's why at the beginning of the summer, when I was scared of calling and asking girls to hang out, I wasn't living as if I was saved by grace. I was living as if I could actually protect myself from those demons out there. When in fact those demons were in myself, and I was more exposed to them when there weren't people to protect me from them.
People are a gift. A God-given gift, that we should be endlessly thankful for. That's why now, with about 3 weeks left I'm dreading leaving. I'm even scared to leave. How can I leave these girls after only being able to get to know them for about two months? How can I do that to them? I think the answer is that I can't. I think that's why seminary has been on my heart so much this summer. And I think that's why today, I'm going to apply.

God does good things through hard times. While this summer for me was one of the most hard times in my life, I know that so many people, even people in my family have been through so much more. I can't help but see that God is in it because He wants us. When we're suffering and when we're striving, we're more likely to turn to Him. And he loves that. He wants that. And He wants us to want Him.

I want to want Him. Sometimes, on good days, I actually do feel that I want Him. So I pray not only for myself, but for everyone I know to want God the way he intended for us. The way that we're meant to. I pray that He show Himself to us through the places that we are in life, and we feel comforted and supported by Him always. Because without Him, this summer would have been one of the worst experiences of my life.